Transform the Victim/Child Mini-Retreat

Heal Your Core Spiritual Wound


Embody Trust in Love and Life


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Throughout the journey of embodying love, truth, and beauty, you encounter a part of you that is stuck in the past. The very distant past. This part of you feels small and vulnerable, and is much more concerned with being taken care of than growth, maturity, and transformation.

This part doesn’t understand nor care about eating well, being financially secure, and being a powerful embodiment of the divine feminine in your relationships and in the world. It only cares about trying to regain the love, perfection, connection, fullness, value, and safety you lost a long, long time ago. And, since it is a child part of you frozen in the past, it goes about trying to get what it lost in a childish, disempowered, and impulsive way.

Feeling abandoned by love, goodness, and God, the Child/Victim is the part of you that feels your desperate instinctual needs – for food, belonging, safety, and love. No matter how much you may want and work toward toward growing into a fully mature human being, you will always feel like a child until this part is brought to consciousness. Functioning at the core of your personality, it will forever undermine your efforts toward realization until you bring its suffering to light.

However, once you bring your awareness and understanding to this part, your journey of transformation becomes easier – you struggle less with yourself, you are more present with yourself whatever is happening, and your consciousness moves more precisely and effortlessly toward realization.


The Child/Victim says:


“I want ice cream! Now!”

“I’m all alone, there’s no one to take care of me, even God forgot about me.”

“Change is hopeless. There’s only suffering.”


“I want!” and “I hurt!” are the pleadings from this vulnerable part of yourself. It really wants connection, affection, love, holding, safety, and kindness but since she believes she can’t have what she really wants her desires are either repressed or expressed in needy and childish ways.


We believe the best way to handle this young part is by trying to get rid of it, ignoring it, or favoring your inner parent (AKA your Inner Critic). We don’t want to own our childish impulses and behaviors so we try to pretend they don’t exist – pushing them out of our consciousness awareness – where, ironically, is where the Child/Victim gets her tremendous power over you limiting the possibility for change and freedom in your life.


The Child/Victim was born out of a loss – of love, of trust, of connection with goodness, of our essence – which caused a heartbreak so total and impossible to tolerate that we never recovered. In fact, this loss forms the core of our personality and the frustrating dynamics of the System of the Lie Players (taught in the Inner Makeover).


Denying the existence of this part, keeping it out of consciousness, means keeping it out of your own heart, which perpetuates the suffering that brought it into existence in the first place. Not exploring and deeply understanding the Victim/Child in you keeps the beliefs and core wound from that initial loss firmly in place – making transformation and realization very limited or outright impossible.


My teacher, Hameed Ali, describes it this way (from Facets of Unity by A. H. Almaas):


“Without basic trust, we don’t have trust in our nature, our inner resources, and in the universe that gave birth to us and is constantly supporting us, constantly providing for us, and will continue providing for us whatever we really need. Without that trust, we don’t experience ourselves as the children of the universe we really are. We experience ourselves as abandoned, outcast, left on our own – and not only on our own, but lacking and deficient in capacities. We experience ourselves as alone, isolated, separated, not being provided for by the universe, and at the same time, small, unable, and without what it takes to provide for ourselves. So we live in a constant state of fear. This is the basic position of the ego.”


Rather than the inner child healing of the 80’s and 90’s, there’s a much more effective way to work with this young part of yourself. It’s simple and extremely effective and we’re giving it a whole Mini-Retreat – three whole days – to finally shower this love-starved part of you with all the tender holding and loving attention she needs to reveal her truth and transform your heart and soul for good. Transforming the Child/Victim allows you to embody the Basic Trust you need to open fully to Love and live your authentic life.


To make sure you are integrating your transformation into your daily life after the Mini-Retreat, we include the Embodying Basic Trust 10-week online course for no additional charge.


Again from Hameed:

“Basic trust is synonymous with being realized, being settled, with not struggling. When you have a lot of basic trust you are courageous and authentic. You take risks. You don’t sit on your capacities. You engage in life wholeheartedly, do what feels appropriate to you with the confidence that it will work out.


Without much basic trust you are paralyzed with fear of failure and fear of rejection….Without basic trust, rejection can feel like the end of the world. You feel hopeless.


When your basic trust deepens, you have an inner sense of relaxation that allows your soul to unfold spontaneously and naturally. The trust affects your mind in such a way that you begin to see that whatever happens is right even if it’s painful, and things that you had thought were bad turn out not to be bad. You have a different outlook, seeing a more fundamentally true view of the universe.


Without feeling the loving holding of the universe, we can have not basic trust…. If you don’t have this trust, you are constantly scared, constantly tense, constantly fighting with reality – inner and outer.


So basic trust means trusting enough to let your mind stop, to be silent within, knowing that if there is something you need to know, the knowing will come. It means trusting that if you need to do something, you will be able to do it. It means accepting and trusting the silence, the stillness, the Beingness. If we don’t trust, we can’t let our minds be silent and we can’t let ourselves be still. We think we always have to be on the go, always making one thing or another happen or not happen, so we don’t let our minds or bodies rest.


So we need to reclaim our basic trust. All work on oneself is necessary because one’s basic trust is not complete. If it were, you would feel completely relaxed and you would spontaneously grow to become what you are supposed to be.


Since our basic trust is not complete, we fight, resist, and struggle; and then we need practices and teachings to see that our struggle is fruitless and is actually the problem.


When it is said that suffering ceases when one is realized or enlightened, what is meant is that the struggling ceases. Enlightenment is not a matter of not feeling pain, but of not fighting it.”



The Transforming the Child/Victim Mini-Retreat and Online Course will allow you to:

  • bring kind, insightful, and life-changing understanding to the young part of you whether it is conscious or not
  • transform the victimized stance of the Child so patterns of immaturity and suffering dissolve naturally and permanently
  • understand how the Child/Victim has kept the dream of the essence alive while you now develop the trust and openness that frees your heart and soul to love and be loved fully
  • embrace and embody the blessing of being born female while realizing the beauty of your heart, body, mind, and soul to magnetize your most fulfilling life.


Do you:

  • keep acting out self-destructive patterns despite your best efforts to be “good” and are ready to uncover the messages from your soul in the frustrating patterns?
  • collapse in the face of challenge, feeling it’s hopeless to be loved, seen, or get what you need and are tired of feeling small and ready to feel Love as the fabric of who you are?
  • react with hiding, extreme sadness, collapse, or distancing when you feel hurt, overwhelmed, or taken advantage of and want to find a more loving and authentic way to protect your heart?
  • feel afraid of or criticize yourself for your childish, weak, or immature feelings because you think you should be an adult, don’t know how to handle such feelings, or believe these feelings are negative and should be repressed?
  • feel ashamed of being female or strive to achieve masculine qualities and capacities for a sense of positive value?
  • feel ready to take an empowered stance for yourself as a woman and release the disempowered positions of blame, resentment, denial, self-forgetting, and victimization?
  • want more trust (with wisdom) in others, yourself, and life so you can relax and allow yourself to receive love and good care?


Then this Mini-Retreat is just for you!

Taking Your True Shape™ Transforming the Child/Victim Mini-Retreat

Heal Your Core Spiritual Wound & Embody Trust in Love and Life
July 29-31, 2011 in Long Beach


The Child/Victim is the reason you feel less than adult especially around realizing your authentic and life affirming goals. It’s one of the four “System of the Lie Players” that work together to make sure nothing ever changes – including your weight, relationships, finances, and basic orientation to yourself and life.


The Child/Victim keeps you living with one foot forever in the hurts and traumas of the past. It takes you further away from, not closer to, the love your heart most desires…


…until you learn how to bring this part to the place of transformation inside you.


You will transform your Child/Victim by making contact with basic trust and the true qualities this structure can only mimic. While all our programs support women in embodying Love and Trust, this Mini-Retreat transforms the issue at the very core of your personality. You will see positive changes in every area of your life.


It’s a profound blessing to be born female but many women don’t feel this.


The essence of being a woman is mysterious, creative, deep, and unabashedly radiant. Yet for cultural and personal reasons many women feel ashamed of their feminine qualities and believe they need to be more masculine to get what they want and need in life. Nothing could be further from the truth.


In this Mini-Retreat you’ll explore and embody the tremendous strengths and capacities that come from embracing and developing your feminine gifts. This includes understanding and working through the good reasons you’ve had for feeling unsafe, undervalued, and powerless as a girl/woman.


You will experience the true beauty, power, and radiance of being rooted in your femininity and will be amazed at how it changes every aspect of your life.


Give yourself this uniquely transformative weekend immersion experience of the profound and lasting change that comes from reclaiming a precious part of your True Self.



Please note there is only 1 space still available in this program. The group size is kept small to allow lots of personalized support for the changes you seek. Our goal is 100% success for each of our students at every event so we limit class sizes accordingly.


Program Information


Hours: Friday 8am-9pm • Saturday 8am-9pm • Sunday 8am-3pm

Format: Each teaching session is approximately three hours. Breaks between sessions for meals, walks on the beach (just 2 blocks from our location), resting, integrating, and socializing are approximately two hours.

Meals Included: Friday & Saturday Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner • Sunday Breakfast & Lunch

Activities Included: Meditation, O C E A N Yoga, Elegant Dinner, Expressive Arts, O C E A N Pampering Experience, O C E A N Medicine Walk, and much more.

Coaching Certification: The Child/Victim Mini-Retreat is a requirement for Taking Your True Shape® Embodiment Coaching Certification program.

Prerequisite: Taking Your True Shape™ Inner Makeover (the 11-week version). Students who have not taken this program can still come to the Mini-Retreat by satisfying the prerequisite through self-study. Please contact Dr. Ocean immediately for details.


Travel & Accommodations


Airports: Long Beach Airport (LGB) – approximately 15 minutes from hotel and retreat location. Orange County Airport (John Wayne, SNA) – approximately 25 minutes from hotel and retreat location. Los Angeles (LAX) approximately 35 minutes from hotel and retreat location. All times are without traffic, allow an additional 30 minutes travel time for rush hour time periods (M-F 7:30am-9:30am & 4-7pm) for SNA & LAX.


Hotel: While there are many fabulous hotels in Long Beach to choose from, past participants have preferred the Golden Sales Hotel. Currently they have internet rates of $95/nite for our retreat dates.


Car: Generally, our visiting participants have shared a rental car. Distance from the hotel to the retreat location is approximately 4 miles. Unfortunately, there are no hotels within walking distance to our site.


Questions about other hotels, possibles roommates, or the Mini-Retreat? Email us at




This exclusive, activity rich, life-changing 3-day event and 10-week online integration course is $1,500 full price.


All our specials have expired but you are still welcome to join us!

We have 1 space left – does it belong to you?

Last day to register is Monday, July 25, 2011:

Single Payment of $1500!



Cancellations made by 6/24/11 will be refunded the full amount less $100 processing fee.

No refunds will be given after 6/24/11.